About an hour later momcasually mentioned that she was willing, if I was, to buy me a few moreoutfits, saying to me..."you would be just as darling as those girls wesaw on television, if you're willing to try it that is." Why mom wantedto have me dress as a girl aside, and after having seen myself wearing adress just like that some of my classmates wore, I couldn't say that shewas wrong.But I thought that for me to agree would diminish my vision of my ownmasculinity, what little I had left of it anyway, and while I discoveredthat wearing a dress wasn't that bad, just how could I say that to her?The question of why mom had suggested it lingered, nagging at me. As Isat there, my knees together and my hands on my lap, I wondered onceagain how I would look, if I did agree to go all out. If I did say yes,that might satisfy the strange feelings I was having about the way Ilooked wearing a dress, but what about mom?"Ummm...mom?" Yes dear?" What made you," I said, "say that I would be just. How hard it is to have all that taken away and to have nothing. Nothing at all.”And even though my heart was breaking and I hated him more than it’s possible to humanly imagine, I recognized a master angler at work, as he slowly wiggled his bait and gently reeled my tender-hearted wife in.“Jill, what I want to know is whether you and I can have even just a small part of what we had before. Just a tiny piece to stop my heart from hurting so bad. Just sometime together when you come across to L.A. to see John, Becky and the baby. I know I’ve screwed up before because I love you so much. But do you think it might be possible, just a little bit of time, you and me together like we used to be.”I held my breath as I waited for Jill’s response, again unable to read her expression and fearing for the worst, especially when she moved her hands and now cupped Chris’s hands within her own.“Chris, if that’s what you’d asked all those weeks ago, then I think that would have been possible. I’d.
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